How I Learned to Lead: Reflecting on 30 Years in Education

My first post about my personal and professional struggles ruffled a few feathers, but more importantly, it seemed to reassure others that their struggles are real. I was genuinely moved by the positive feedback I received, through public comments, private messages, and conversations with colleagues and parents. I also heard from professionals who have faced similar challenges but never felt able to express them. Some colleagues, past and present, even reflected on my leadership over the years, which got me thinking: How did I learn to be a leader?

Publishing that first post was a leap of faith. I was not sure how my words would be received, but the responses encouraged me to write again. In reflecting deeply, I began questioning the choices that shaped my career. From teaching piano at aged 16 to becoming Head of an international school for the third time; was this journey by design or accident? If I had known then what I know now, would I have chosen differently?

Brave and courageous, or simply honest?

My career has taken many twists over 30 years. I started teaching music in a special school for students with diverse needs. I trained as a music therapist in 1998 under the wonderful Leslie Bunt, specialising in non-verbal communication with children on the autism spectrum, later working with young people and adults in the criminal justice system. I then returned to education, focusing on inclusion in an inner-city comprehensive in West London, before moving overseas to pursue my long-standing desire to at least try living abroad. Eighteen years later, I am still overseas, working in senior leadership roles.

I do not regret any of it. I have grown immensely, travelled widely, met incredible people, and built a culturally rich life. The 16-year-old Simon could never have imagined such fulfilment. Hopefully, there is still much more to come.

You want to be a teacher?

In 1997, the UK government launched the campaign No-one forgets a good teacher . This was followed in the early 2000s by the Teacher Training Agency’s Those who can, teach. Both campaigns reflected a crisis in teacher recruitment, with trainees offered £6,000 tax-free to train. Twenty-five years later, has much changed?

As a Newly Qualified Teacher in 1996, I was full of passion, enthusiasm, and energy. I landed what I thought was my dream job: Head of Department - of one - in Music and Drama at a stand-alone Special Educational Needs school in Greater Manchester. That school is long gone now, but I remember it as a place full of wonderful students with complex needs, supported by passionate teachers and assistants. Sadly, some staff had been redeployed there, waiting out the years until retirement. As a young teacher, I struggled to understand why they stayed, not yet realising the realities of pensions and retirement planning. Those early experiences taught me the difference between a job and a vocation.

The Right Decision at That Time

In addition to being surrounded by the 'pension procrastinators', by the end of my first year, my passion had almost been extinguished by my first Headteacher (Head). The Head told me the students could not stage a musical because of their special needs. Shocked, I made it my mission to prove the Head wrong, and that we did. The students rehearsed tirelessly and, on performance night, the pride on their faces (and their parents’) said it all. Anyone who has ever taught the performing arts can probably picture the scene now. Naturally, the Head took the credit, but we knew the truth.

At that point, I nearly walked away, but the SEN advisor gave me a piece of advice I have carried ever since: “Whatever decision you make - whether to stay another year or to leave - remember that it is the right decision for you at this moment in time.”

Leadership by Opposites

Looking back, I realise that many of my leadership skills and beliefs developed in direct opposition to the practices of certain previous “leaders.” Combined with my training in humanistic therapy, this shaped me into a leader who values listening, empathy, and authenticity.

More is Definitely More

My first Head seemed obsessed with copying neighbouring schools, endlessly piling on new initiatives. If something was introduced at a nearby school, you could bet your monthly salary that we would also end up doing it soon. The Head never wanted to feel outdone by somebody, and even though they were aware of the teachers only there because they had no choice, everyone would still be pushed to their limits. We always had to have the latest, shiny new initiative or policy without replacing the old. Staff were constantly stretched. Whilst I have not always got it right, this taught me to be mindful of workload and to balance innovation with reality.

Believe in Yourself

You are making a difference, you just might not know it yet. In 2017, when I became a Head for the first time, I battled imposter syndrome. But I learned the value of acknowledging vulnerability and surrounding myself with people who know more than I do in certain areas. I was working non-stop and largely enjoying the new challenge, but I was also struggling to answer my own daily question; "Simon, what are you doing here?" I was not sure to whom I was trying to prove my worth, but thanks to the support and wisdom of some ex-colleagues-turned- friends, I soon overcame the self doubt and fully embraced the challenge.

Belief in Your Team's Abilities

Micromanagement was rife under my first Head, and I vowed never to repeat it. With clear guidance and trust, people thrive. Regular check-ins and feedback create a culture of support, not surveillance or a regime of constant justification. In addition, I have always tried to play to my colleagues' strengths, creating roles and responsibilities that take advantage of their skills and experience, even if they started working at the school in another capacity. If we find a professional with a positive attitude and commitment plus something that we need, we have to make it work.

Credit Where Credit is Due

Unlike my first Head, I make it a point to acknowledge ideas, even more so when they are not mine. With our busy lives, it is very easy to move onto the next task or meeting without acknowledging someone's achievements, and I know from my own experience how frustrating it is to see someone get all the praise when we know they have done diddly squat. Sadly, some leaders enable this behaviour. Leadership is not about taking credit; it is all about giving it.

Questioning for Understanding

As teachers, we know the importance of questioning, and there is much research on the topic. Sadly, my experience of previous leaders over the years has tended to focus on questions that are driven by scrutiny as opposed to a genuine desire to understand, never mind be supportive. We carry a huge responsibility as teachers, especially those of us working in private education where parental expectations are elevated by the monthly fees by they pay. Therefore, as a leader, is it too difficult to simply ask, "What do you need? How can I help?"

Be human (but at times with a filter)

Everyone likes to be seen and acknowledged. A little touch that I hope makes a difference is making it my business to remember to wish a colleague a happy birthday on their big day. There might not be a cake, but I know I always appreciate a simple gesture and someone remembering that I exist. These small gestures matter and they build connections. There are moments when my honesty takes over, and I have even been compared at times to Sheldon Cooper - fans of The Big Bang Theory might be able to relate. We all make mistakes and occasionally say things that we did not think through properly, but I have learned that there is no weakness associated with saying sorry. Another previous leader of mine taught me a different valuable lesson; to not say what you really feel. I remember a situation where our Head was informing us of a colleague's dismissal, a colleague was who quite popular. However, adding that if anyone has any problem with her dismissal (paraphrased) that they should, "Suck it up", meant the abrupt end of that particular weekly team meeting.

Moving Forward

This reflection is shaped by my own experiences, both good and less good, but I have also worked with inspiring leaders, such as my last UK Head, who passed away too soon yet remains a guiding voice in my mind: “What would Jane do in this situation?” My passion for helping others, coupled with my therapy background, has led me to explore coaching. I will soon embark on the 14-week CoachMe course with Beckitt McInroy, and I look forward to sharing what I learn along the way.

#leadership #education #coaching